3 months of intense fucking…

These last 3 months….

There was confusion and a lot of excitement…

Nicolas' father asked us to get back together, me in an attempt to get revenge because Fabrizio went back to his girlfriend as soon as she decided she wanted to get back with him i tried once again too with Nico´s father... but Fabrizio told me his girlfriend always breaks up with him and for the first time he didn't go after her to get back together and he said it was because of me...she realizes something... then she decides to get back together with him...ok I don't want anything serious with him, but that made me unnerved...

Do I still love Nico's father? I discovered that i didnt cause i was cheating on him for the first time.. and because I couldn't deny a single fuck with Fabrizio who isn't afraid of anything, not even if they see him here coming into my apartment... he does things that leave me surprised and feel alive and enraged at the same time. But I don't reveal anything, so I simply don't write, or contact him in any way possible, I don't care about him the way i usually care for someone i have emotional connection, I'm here on the same floor as him and we could go the whole week without seeing each other if it's up to me...

He was here yesterday and said that I'm acting like I don't like him...

But let me tell you that 15 days ago, it was interesting… I took him to my room for the first time…

We made love...I felt something different...it wasn't a simple intense fuck like yesterday...

He called me on Friday because he knows I'm without Nico...I had no sound on my cell phone and I didn't answer right away...but 2 hours later he called and I heard a knock on my door...I woke up scared and answered the phone...He asked if I was okay? Awake? Very tired? And I said yes…shall we talk tomorrow? He said ok…sleep well… i could hear the disappointment on his voice... and i felt sorry...i really wanted him to fuck me...

Then it took me about 10 minutes to realize that he called 2 hours before and wrote to me and I hadn't even noticed...

I called him and said come... I was sleepy but I want to see you... I'll leave the door open for you...

I put music on, sensual music, which I learned from him, a sex playlist…

I lay down naked and open to him... and I saw him looking at me, standing closer, touching my feet, slowly moving up to my vulva... he passed his fingers in a loving and super tender way... without the brutality of the first and second fuck...he opens my legs wider, sitting on the bed looking at me...he said I want to suck you all over...he lies down and stares at my vulva...licks me and sucks me like if he was kissing my pussy...it was delicious, sensual, intense as if he loved me...he spent a few minutes sucking me and eating my pussy as if there was no tomorrow, he tasted me like no man had tasted me before, I pulled him away by his shoulders and asked him to end that torture, I needed him inside me...he laid on top of me and penetrated me slowly, kissing me and penetrating me at the same pace, so slow, so sensual and kissing me, following the rhythm of the songs that had an extremely romantic message, no sex messages...he stopped to look at me and growled...I felt that he wasn't talking because he let the music speak for him...he licked my lips and then sucked my breasts, caresses my face and slowly tells me that it was good, that he wanted me...after half an hour of this, he comes inside me and hugs me tightly and I'm shaking with lust I tell him closed to his ear that it was delicious…

We lay there spooning for I don't know how long...he was whispering nonsense in my ear and I was laughing...until I felt his hands going down to my pussy...he penetrated me from the side, then put me on all fours, licked it me and I had my pussy dripping cum from when he came inside me... I felt crazy horny and wanted to cum... but he stopped and penetrated me while I was lying on my stomach... with a mastery and a slowness that drove me crazy...

He stops and says you are going to cum for me…

He turns me over on my back and lays me down on the bed, he kneels on the floor outside the bed and opens me all over and licks me and tells me to cum in his mouth...it took me a long time...but I came With a force I ended up releasing something that made him laugh... I did get his chest wet with my orgasm... and I apologized for the little fart I released when I came... he didn't care... because afterwards we spent more than an hour talking... until he, with me lying on his chest, looks at the clock and realizes that we had been in bed for about 3 hours between conversations and good sex... and then he went away complaining that the time here with me goes by quickly and he doesn't even notice...he wondered why...

Until yesterday, he called at 10pm, and said I can't stand it, I'm dying to see you...i am missing you alot, I know you don't but I want to see you, I'm drunk here with half a bottle of wine, I start laughing and invite him in, he comes in and starts complaining in a cute way, you don't call me, you don't say anything...I always have to invent things and excuses to talk to you, it seems like you're not interested in me...the last 15 days I've suffered from missing and doubting myself about my sensual attempts to get you to come after me as well and you ignore me like u do not care ...I laughed and said we were managing our more than failed relationships and you are the one who has a girlfriend that controls even your cell phone, I don't want to cause embarrassment, i respect you….he stares at me annoyed but happy to see me... laughs and hugs me tightly and kisses me so much that my lips hurt. We go to the bedroom and I undress quickly and as soon as I lay down naked he licks me and hungrily sucks my breasts and goes down saying that my smell makes him more excited, that I smell really good...it goes down my belly and goes down to my pussy, he licks me greedily, he sucks my clitoris after 15 days of hunger without eating me, he leaves me wetter than ever and he takes off all his clothes and says he wanted me to use the vibrator... He wants me to come while he fucks me...I get up, take off the vibrator and lie down using the vibrator that sucks my clitoris...he penetrates me and fucks me hard and deep, in 1 minute I come and get him wet and the bed too all, he opened me up so much and fucked me so much with such brute force that he couldn't hold back any longer, and he came faster than normal, feeling tight after my orgasm, he couldn't resist...he came and started telling me in my ear that he really missed me a lot and was crazy about my smell...I whispered to him that he behaved well...what a good boy you are, he laughs and gets dressed...asked for a cigarette...he was shocked by the clothes I put on to go get cigarettes from the car...my yellow dress that is so tight closed to my body, which leaves very little to the imagination, I go down to the car and get up quickly to the apartment...while I see him sipping the wine I served him and smoking...I noticed how sexy and how handsome he is… with a boyish smile and dimples that gave him a fun and jovial look...i could feel what trouble he gets around girls and i understand how his girlfriend feels so insecure...i do not envy her, i would not want a boyfriend like him, his posture of a flirt makes a woman in love go mad i guess..

But I only moan with lust because I feel pleasure in the pain...he pulls my hair and looks at me and says I'm his...I, horny, touch his forehead with mine and say yes...he carries me on his lap until he sofa and with a brute force he penetrates me and goes deep and with all the excitement built up from those days we weren't together, I felt his anger, his need to show me who is in charge of my body... he bites me and pinches my breasts...he slaps me hard on the buttocks and breasts...strong and intense kiss that hurts my lips, I love the kiss, I love the brutality even though I felt like I couldn't take it anymore...he feels tired and sits down …puts me on top of him and I ride him with depth and immense passion, even though I'm in pain, it's a passion that I can't understand or explain…the slaps on my buttocks drive me crazy I want to cum again, and I cum on top of him …then I get off him and put that thick penis in my mouth, but he doesn’t leave me there for long…

He feels me shaking and loosing strength, he lays me down with my legs spread open and finishes me right there, I'm dizzy from drinking, tired and horny, I can barely stand up but he, without mercy, fucks me with even more force and brutality and when I feel the anger passing …he came again…he gets up and lifts me up and I feel my legs giving out and he laughs at me, I have cum dripping down to my knees, he dresses up and helps me put my nightshirt and looks at the hours and notices that once again he's been here for more than 3 hours... and we talked little or nothing... we just fucked, and it says 3 months of fucking celebrated, he asks me to open the door... I take off the music and disoriented I feel like the goodbye kiss took forever, a delicious kiss that felt like it took all the air out of me, kissed me with longing and love at the same time, I was nervous and confused but it was a harmonious, soft, delicious kiss...but I felt suffocated and having a panic attack...luckily he left straight away...I don't know what to feel...I'm irritated once again, this is just sex I have to explain it to him the next time I see him...but we didn't talk much, he finished me and i felt like he punished me for not going after him and making him miss me too much and it seems like he really can't go more than a week without being with me...but I have to understand certain things he said and did yesterday...I have to make him aware of what he's doing...and I know I won't I don't want to and I won't fall in love with him... I control everything when he's away... my heart is still very hurt, I don't know how many months it will take for Nico's father's trauma to go away...

But it was good to be with Fabrizio... I have pain in places I've never felt before... but excited to remember everything... my lips are sore and swollen from so much kissing... my pussy is blinking all the time, I feel his scent stuck on me …how horrible, I can't take it, he's too much, he's too intense…what should I do if I'm still horny? What can I do to make him understand that I don't want this whirlwind of emotions that he gives me when he comes? The energy and the feeling he leaves me is that he wants more…

One of the times he came here to fuck me...he dedicated a song to me that is basically the third one he told me to listen to, and what the lyrics of the song mean...the videos he posts that I know are for me...are similar to mine or are responses to mine...he is getting more and more direct...I'm scared of what he'll say to me next time...but I've never fantasized about a relationship with him...even though I feel him giving me all the signs...

I need help managing all this and processing...